Ask Melyssa: Should I cheat with a yung dude?

Dear Melyssa,

I’m in a relationship with this dude, we’ve been together about four years. I knew during the second year that the relationship wasn’t about shyt, but I’m still in it because he really is the only person I have in the city that I live. Something is better than nothing mentality. Wrong, but it is what it is.

Anyway, I’ve had this little thing going with my best friend’s brother back home, it’s never been physical as he’s three years younger than me and I left for college at seventeen. Girl, he’s 21 now, 6’5”, chocolate, and finer than a motherplucker.
He’s had his little childhood crush on me since he was like eight, and I never took him seriously, but over the last year or so he’s been piquing my interest in a major way. I’m going home to visit, and I really can’t say that if we were alone somewhere -- which I’m fairly certain will happen -- that I’ll be faithful to my relationship.

I need to know if I am really wrong to cheat on dude because our relationship is unfulfilling. I mean unfulfilling sexually, mentally, emotionally. I am certain that he loves me, but he’s just a bad fit. And I can’t say I would feel guilty if I did it, because he’s done enough dirt (though that doesn’t include f’ing other chicks.)

Best Friend’s Brother has a girlfriend, but that’s some little one month shyt and I know for a fact that he has no qualms about leaving her for me, let alone f’ing me while he’s with her.

But, to cheat or not to cheat?

-Feenin’ For Baby Brother

Dear Feenin For Baby Brother,

I have been in your predicament before. In a relationship that sucked, having sex that sucked -- or at least being poked at night after night in the hopes that we’d have sex (that would inevitably suck) – feeling unfulfilled uncommunicative and achingly unsatisfied. It’s a miserable existence. Good for me though, I had my just-months-old son to keep me home, grounded and regrettably faithful abstinent.

Good for you, though, you don’t. LOL. Really, if the guy you’re with isn’t the guy for you, you’re not happy, it’s not goin anywhere … I mean …

No, lemme back up and give you the good advice, first. Cheating is never okay. It’s not right to lie to your partner. You should always end one relationship before beginning, or even dabbling in, another. If I’ve learned NOTHING AT ALL from the fiasco that ensued when I started up with an old boyfriend’s best friend and didn’t tell him until I was pregnant with dude’s baby … (and subsequently ruined any chance of potentially being with the man I really wanted to be with) it’s to be straight up in all my dealings. And in my next relationship, I will be. There.

Now. Girl is he that fine? And 6’5”!? I love a man that towers over me. That shyt is sooo sexy. That was a sidebar, sorry.

Now. Before I’d even be concerned about the boyfriend that you don’t see a future with anyway, I’d ask how your girl feels about you getting down with her brother. Been there done that about crossing those kinds of lines ... not pretty. But if she’s cool about it and you don’t feel like it could become messy … (messy like one of you catches feelings and takes to asking your girl/sister questions about the whereabouts and habits of the other … shyt like that). Then, why not, really?

I mean, dude’s outta state, you know it can’t really become serious because of his age, the distance between the two of you and your current situation. So commitment's out, love's out, marriage and kids and all the heavy stuff is out. What that does leave the two of you open for though, is a hot steamy four-day weekend (or three-month summer, or however long you're gonna be home) affair. No strings, no expectations, no accountability … Damn I miss those days.

I’m gonna take the moral low road here and say, do that shyt! LOL. And not just because I’d love to hear about it and live vicariously thru your illicit exploits once it’s done – tho definitely hit me up – but because you’re young, unmarried and you don’t owe anybody anything but yourself and your mama. LOL, somebody told me that once. Terrible, I know. But you said you’re not gonna feel guilty about it anyway, so eff it.

But really, whether you go for it or not, at some point, it’s gonna be time to face the imminent end of the relationship you’re already in. I know it’s hard, especially if you don’t know anyone where you are, but you’ll be sooo much happier. I wish I had branched out sooner, after hooking up with the man who is now my BD merely because of that comfort factor. It’s hard.

Hoepfully baby brother is, too. LOL. Getem girl.

-- Mel

PS Is that bad? All this solo sex has got me frustrated.

You put a song in my head:

"Mama you may be three years older but you hot, gimme that ... "

That "Take You Down" makes me wanna get me a young mang. Some nice close-ups in this vid rendition. :)

It is IMPOSSIBLE to find find an official Chris Brown video with an embed link on Youtube. I swear this lil nig has a dude on the payroll who's sole responsibility it is to scour the net and pull down links all day. Damn.
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And in recent garbage, (tho just as sweet today as it was yesterday) Kobe likes to cum on chicks faces, choke em out while hitting it from the back and other points of TMI you may or may not have wanted to know about your favorite NBA star, over at my other blog: