Long Distance: Finally, a relationship that works

I’ve been pretty candid with ya’ll about the current lack of a man in my life. I have no problem attracting them, but it’s so daunting to wade through the bullshyt, and now that I’m a mom, it’s even more detrimental that I be dilligent about my choice of company. What was once a bit adventurous at best (yknow, getting dressed up and heading to the meat market); and just tiring at worst (coming home with tired feet from those 4-inch getem girls with a cell phone full of numbers belonging to men with no promise); is now damned near impossible (a girl can’t even get a babysitter these days, you hear me?).

Anyway, I think I may have found something that works for me, (at least for now), fits perfectly into my schedule, requires little and feels just good enough, every other night around 11:45 p.m. It’s also great for flexing those creative muscles. (I’m a writer and if you don’t use em, you’ll lose em).

Wait for it.

Phone sex!


It’s no revelation I know, but actually, to women in my situation, it kinda is. I mean, I’m not technically a newbie to the whole idea of telephone relations. I made a two-year, long distance relationship work with consistently imaginative phone phucking – Okay, a year and a half maybe. That last six months we were both getting it in elsewhere. We were only human after all. But it was a fantastic run, lemme tell ya.

And right now, I’m not in a position to try to be trying to lock somebody down in a committed relationship anyway. One day, after some of this old drama that continues to rage in my life has died down. But right now, a nice lil convo and an equally nice climax and I’m good. 

And thank God for Myspace. That’s where I reconnected with my current phone friend. He hit me on my page a few weeks ago after having lost touch for a couple of years. We shared a few explosive memories (dude used to put it down, yall. Down) and kinda just fell right into our first session.

Very nice. Just a little TMI I felt like sharing, and perhaps a viable relationship alternative for you ladies who like me, would like a little but don’t have the time or interest in the chase, the games or the risk. Now you know. 

--Melyssa Ganache