My guy wants a Threesome w/a dude. Homo?

Dear Melyssa,

My boyfriend of a year wants to have a threesome with me for his birthday. I know the threesome is supposed to be every man’s ultimate fantasy, but get this, he wants it with another dude! I was like, WHAT!? I don’t know what to do. I mean, I love him to death and I don’t want to give him reason to get bored with our sex life. And honestly, if he wanted to invite another chick into our bedroom, tho I’m not bi, I might think about it just once. But another dude?

I can’t get past feeling like that’s kinda gay. He assured me he doesn’t want nothing to do with the dude as far as the actual activity, all the attention will be on me. But still . Is this a red flag? Is my man gay?

-- Sandwiched

Dear Sandwiched, (Love that) : )

Wow. Im gonna read thru your letter one more gain –

And wow.

Okay, there’s so much. First off, no a threesome with two guys, in my opinion isn’t necessarily gay. But unless somebody’s getting paid for it, there’s a camera man with a boom and a director that just hollered roll tape before the action began, that’s some bitch ass shyt. Personal opinion. I don’t even understand how the guy drilling the front stays hard, all face to face with dude bangin the back. I don’t get it. But then, I don’t have a penis, so perhaps I wouldn’t.

What may be just as big a question as your man’s sexuality tho, I think are his intentions with you. You said it’s been a year. Really, the sex should still be poppin. If he feels the need to bring a whole lotta extra people in the bed, especially at this early stage in the game, perhaps it’s not so much that he’s bored with regular sex with you as it is he sees you as a why-not type of chick.

Want her to do this? Why not? Do that? Why not? F*ck that dude? Why not? Suck this dude … and so on and so forth. A fun freak, if you will. LOL. Maybe not, I’m just sayin. But I guarantee you there are some women that he would never in a million years make the request that he’s made with you. Furthermore, he’s been in relationships before where the very thought of his chick up under another hard-chested, sweaty man, pounding away would give him knots in his stomach and cause his fists to involuntarily tighten at his sides. It seems like you’re not that girl.

And that’s okay, if that’s okay with you. When you describe your relationship by saying you’ve been together a year tho, and make no mention of an open clause, I get the feeling that that kind of regard for said relationship isn’t okay with you.

Lemme tell you what a dear guy friend a mine told me: If they share, they don’t care. Pretty much sums it up, huh?

So, gay? Ehh. Maybe. But definitely disrespectful as f*ck.

-- Mel

PS If you do do it tho, Holla. I wann hear alllll the details. : )