He won’t make her his chick but he wants to make a flick. Foul?

Dear Melyssa,

My friend has been talking to this guy for about two months (they are not official), and one day he texted her and asked her to make a video. She laughed and told him no, but in my mind, I was like she should have told him off. In my mind, it’s disrespectful. If a guy that I was with asked me to do that, I would think that he would show it to someone on that "oh look what i got" tip...and if he gets angry with me or whatever he could put it online and have my business out there. If my guy really respected me, he would never ask me for a video (pics maybe), because he already has me. I think he was just trying to see how far he could go with her, and was treating her like a jumpoff.

Now she argues that it isn’t disrespectful because he only pressed once and when she said no he let it go. And she was like, mad dudes she knew would ask their girl for a video and it wasn’t a big deal. And finally, she said that he would never show it to anyone. So, we put it to the test.

We both contacted some of our male friends and asked them what they thought. We got the same response...if it was his girl, then yeah they would ask, but keep it private...but if it was someone they were just messing with, they'd still ask for a video and then show it off on a jumpoff tip. And they all said that in her case, because she is not official with dude, he was probably treating her like a jumpoff, or like she was set out (one of them thought it was me and wanted dudes name and address on some "don't ask my lil sis that shit" type-steez).

So what is your opinion? Is that disrespectful or not?

-- Not no Kim or Paris

Dear Not no Kim or Paris,

I’m with you and the guys. He is definitely treating her like jumpoff status. If she was his girl, ehh, it’s still iffy as to whether at some point in the future he would show it to someone.

Sidebar: This is why if you ever do do anything on video you should always retain the only copy. But then,we’re in a digital age and there are no such thing as copies anymore. Dude could just email the vid to himself so quick and so fast, before he even rolls over and hands you his phone so you can delete the show. So really, it’s just not smart.

And TMI: I got one a those floating around in the stratosphere somewhere and when I get famous, I might have to put a hit out on dude.

Anyway, yeah I think his asking your girl to do it for the cam is definitely disrespectful. Especially since he had the nerve to make this request, which is a pretty big deal and requires a huge amount of trust (or stupidity) without even making his relationship with her official – which he knows he could do if he wanted to. He just doesn’t want to.

But you say you already got a concensus from some guys whose opinions you trust and she still won't listen. Sometimes you can't tell people, they just have to see it (all on the big screen) for themeselves.

Still, tho. He got his nerve. SMH. Lol.

What y'all think? Vote on the right.

-- Mel

PS Is she in his Top 8? Just askin.