She put out, but he won't give it up

Dear Melyssa,

I’ve been messing with this guy I like, and I want to, but we haven’t really hooked up yet. Before I can sleep with a guy I have to have that emotional connection with him first so, we only did the whole oral thing at first. Mostly on him, actually.

My and my husband were separated for about five years and I wanted to have one last fling before we got together again, so I spoke with the "tease" and it seemed like he wanted it as much as I did but ...

it just never happened.

He no longer works at my company (yes, this all happened at work). His main excuse is that he did not want to "dip his pen in the company ink". So he still calls me right and he still tells me that he wants me and we make plans to see each other later and again he leaves me hot and bothered.

So here's my thing -- Say what you mean and mean what you say. I'm a spoiled brat and I have always gotten my way, except for him. Now I don't know if I really still want it or if I simply want it because I don't have it. It's funny how a girl will play around with a man's head (no pun intended) but it's a completely different game when the tables are turned. This sucks! I feel like I'm 12 again.

-- Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

I haaaaate dudes like this. Ugh. Ive had one. Frankly, if you’re hittin him off with head and he’s finishing, he doesn’t really need the other. So first, cut that shyt out.

That’s even if you still really even wanna eff with dude. He sounds pussy to me, quite frankly and it seems like he’s playing with your head. Haven’t we all been on the other end of that phone call, tho. The one where you’re telling him you wanna do this and you wanna do that knowin that you may or may not even have real intentionsof doin shyt like that. It’s just nice to have the attention … to know there’s someone you can call who’ll stroke your ego quite nice for a few minutes, and then you’re good. Sounds like that’s why he’s keeping this charade with you. Not to mention the dome. : )

I totally understand not wanting to take no for an answer. Who the fuck is he to say no anyway!? Right? Girl, I’m right there with you. But this is how you flip it – stop calling him. Just stop. And when he calls you, don’t pick up. Right now you’re chasing and he clearly likes it that way. Change directions on his ass. After he calls a couple of times, pick up, like, “Hey what’s up. Chillin, whatre you doin, hold on … (talking in the background). Hey lemme call you right back.” Then don’t.

Either he’ll play his new position and up the ante, or he’ll stop calling. Either way, you're the one who ended it. And isn’t that the point? LOL.

Go get it in with somebody else before you settle back into the happy housewife role. Forever is a loooong time. : )

-- Mel