Whoopin that Bitch’s Ass: Is it ever okay?

I’ve never been a fighter. I always thought I was too pretty for that. I didn’t understand girls who slicked up their faces with Vaseline after school or showed up with switchblade scars across their cheek for fuckin with some random chick’s so-called boyfriend. Just never seemed worth it to me. What I wanna get my clothes my daddy paid good money for all ripped up? Why do I want my freshly pressed hair pulled out and my face defaced? No thanks, not cute. And since I’ve been grown, even more so. I do not fight hoes. I am not a fighter. That shyt is stupid.

That being said, sometimes the alternative, having a nice sit-down for a meeting of the minds isn’t really an alternative at all. Yeah, yeah the pen is mightier than the sword and words are lethal and all that, but there are some people that you just can’t talk to. Sometimes a bitch just needs to get one in the mouth, am I right or wrong?

So here’s my question: Is it ever acceptable for a near 30-year old women to resort to fisticuffs to handle a problem? (I’m not talking about self-defense. Of course if somebody comes at you, you have to fend them off. I’m talkin about kickin some shyt off because that’s the only way you feel it can really be handled). I hadn’t thought so, till the other night when my big sis called me talking about this chick had thrown a drink in her face.

The chick is grown as hell, 44 years old and ugly as dirt. I’ve seen her. She’s been stalking my sister for some time now, comin to her place of work (she’s a part-time bartender) eyein her and shyt from the other side of the room. Sending messages through other people and poppin off threats. She has this mistaken idea that my sis is fuckin with this dude (who absolutely is not her man anyway) but who she wants to be with. At any rate, it's not goin down and my sis and dude are just friends. But apparently the fatal attraction chick is a jilted ex.

So the other night, the chick comes into my sis’s place of work, it’s near closing time when she saunters up to the bar in her drunken-ugliness. (LOL). She grabs my sister’s arm like a school teacher and warns her to leave said dude alone. She then throws a drink in her face, spewing obscenities. Did I say this chick is 44 years old? Yes.

Big Sis said she didn’t even know what to do, she just started pelting the chick with ice cubes from behind the bar as security wrestled the woman outta the venue.

I was heated when I got the phone call. I’ve seen the chick in action, I’ve heard the stories from my sis and from dude about her “fatal attraction” and I really wanted it to be aired out in a grown-folks conversation at the time. But now, this bitch has made it physical. I feel like it’s too late for talking.

I think if I woulda been there I woulda fought that bitch, I’m just sayin. I’m grown, somebody’s mama, and the most non-confrontational, peace-making person you’d ever wanna meet. (Really, to a fault). But that shyt right thurr woulda had to come to blows all in the club. So glad I wasn’t there though, cause really what could I have done? I’ve seen this chick, she’s a big bitch. I woulda had to grab a bottle and drop that shyt on her head. The police would’ve been called and just that quickly, I’m caught up in a case. Damn. Just what BD’s sneaky ass, always-lookin-for-some-shyt-on-me ass needs. So glad I wasn’t there. Kind of. I still wanna get that bitch tho.

So what ya’ll think? Is it ever, ever, ever okay for a woman, over 25 years old to get to fightin in the street? LOL. Hit up the survey to the right, please. Preciate ya.

-- Mel