Geo-Monogamy: A regional relationship

You guys ever heard of this geo-monogamy? I was just introduced to the term recently by a gal pal of mine. I suppose this kind of relationship isn’t new, and just to put it all out there, I’ve been in one of these regional relationships before. You know how it goes … When you’re in town, we’re together. Nobody’s knockin on my door and you’re not answering your phone. But as soon as you take off for that flight, it is what it is. Been there. Done that. I get it. And for me, it was cool for a while. Until I started catching bigger feelings and wanted to be more than the main chick in my region of the United States.

So I can’t even imagine being in a marriage like that, sharing a child a mortgage and a life across state lines, and crossing marriage vows every time you cross those state lines. I don’t think that could work for me. But that’s what my girl does.


They have a house in one state, where she works and lives with their son, but he’s in the navy and stationed in another state, where he has his own apartment. Every other weekend, he hits the highway and comes home to be with the fam, but outside of that, his life is his own.

Technically, my girl could rightfully enjoy the same kind of freedom, only her husband’s absence really makes her more like a single mom (and I for one can vouch for the romantic constraints suffered due to the whole single momdom thing. Taint easy, ya’ll).

So in actuality, she ends up being the faithful wife and doting mother, while he lives the single life in his bachelor pad and gets to play daddy/husband in his spare time. What kinda shyt is that. I can so not relate. But this is what really got me.

This is one of my best girl friends so we share lots of our business with each other, but her hubby came home one weekend, two bags of dirty laundry in tow, as usual. But when she went to go through it and throw some things in the wash, she finds makeup all over one of dude’s shirts. Foundations, lipstick and it smelled of a woman’s perfume, she said. Between you and me, whoever the bitch was she probably did that shyt on purpose. I mean who is that messy?

Well my girl flipped out. She wasn’t mad necessarily because he got it in, like I said their relationship is one of geo-monogamy, so that’s allowed. What’s not allowed though is evidence of the indiscretion. Yes, there are rules! I couldn’t believe it when she gave me the run down:

No unprotected sex
No oral sex
No outside kids
No large gifts ie schooling, expensive jewelry, rent etc.
The chick can’t call or visit the house they share
And when he’s home, he’s home. The chick does not exist. That means no evidence.

He broke a cardinal geo-monogamy rule, I suppose. You guys ever heard a this ish? I for one, couldn’t do it.

-- Melyssa Ganache