Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Illusion of Fidelity: Is it just as good as the real thing?

Every woman wants a faithful man. A man who takes care of home, remembers favorite colors, important dates and little hints like, "I love that dress," made on a whim. We want him to be there when he says he's gonna be and call if something comes up; to make the bedroom rock at least a few nights out of each work week and only, only, ever, ever, ever give it to us. We can agree on that right?

But how bad is say, 8 out of 10, really? I mean, what if he's everything you want him to be and does everything you imagined your knight would do, with the exception of exclusivity? Is the illusion of fidelity enough?

I'd gotten to the point some time ago -- I mean scraping the bottom of the man barrel, y'all -- when I thought that perhaps it was. Long as the rent gets paid on time, he doesn't slack off at home and he always crawls in bed next to me before the sun comes up, I thought I might be cool with that. I mean, his phone isn't ringin all crazy after hours, random bitches aren't knockin on the door proclaiming they're fucking my man and unreasonable amounts of money aren't unaccounted for ... Maybe that could work. Admittedly, I'm not completely past this thinking.

Call me jaded, but I feel like the alternative, "you must never place your penis anywhere else for the next 80 years until you die," is scary to most men at best (hell, its scary to me) and unreasonable, borderline impossible, at worst.

You tell me, does it really matter if he occasionally gets it in? (Protected, of course, and I'm not talkin about a full blown emotional love affair).

What do y'all think? Is the illusion of fidelity as good as the real thing? Perhaps it's just good enough. It should be noted tho, that a guy who is sleepin around has to put in some real hard work to keep our women's intuition quiet and our investigative skills at bay. I dunno maybe that's worth somethin. Just sayin.

Hit up the survey to the right, please and thank ya.

-- Mel


Fitness Goddess said...

Not for me..I just can't take be lied to. It's great that he does everything else but why be in relationship if it's not a committed one.

Trin-Trin said...

i dont think i would be able to compromise on this...

Mista Jaycee said...

Hey Mel,
I nominated you for a Brillante Weblog award!

Amber said...

I couldn't do it. Doesn't matter if everything else is taken care of...that's some deep betrayal.

cutienjerzey said...

That wouldn't be for me....I will not settle for less. I would rather be by myself then to think that I have to share a man with multiple women.

Serious Black said...

Never settle. You will only hate yourself for it later.

Melyssa Ganache said...

I so feel y'all about not being able to compromise on this. But it's only settling if you sincerely believe in the possibility of life-long monogamy. I guess I'm just not their yet. I mean I think the idea is ideal, it's beautiful and it's what we're commanded to do ... but I don't know one married man who's remained faithful throughout the duration of his union. (And I'm not just talkin about the ones that come onto me. LOL). Perhaps I need to branch out. :)