Monday, April 28, 2008

Lookin 4 Super Love: That Christopher Reeve-type commitment

Dear Melyssa,

I was born with cerebral palsy. I know a lot of people are born disabled, but we want somebody to care for us, too. What I’m sayin is it seems like it’s hard to find people that will ride witcha. I’m a young mane in my 23third year of life. I guess da million dolla thought is, would you date a brotha with a handicap sticker? Same for men, would y’all date a female in the same boat?

I think I had to ask for not so much myself, but for anybody male or female born handicapped who might want to find somebody that’ll ride wit em. My heart don't get lonely cuz God built me to be strong, but when you’re born different, you look at life a certain way. Like, if I died, not neva havin any females or kids in my life. I'ma 100 with that cuz da main goal is heaven and to get up out da wheel chair and walkin someday and gettin out my mom’s house. She’s not gonna be here fa eva. But you might got people who want some love in life or somebody to kick it wit.

It took me a long time to write this cuz I wasn't sure about sendin it, but I could neva be a square. That’s not me. Just a question. No sad stories, just somethin new, like da movie. Much respect and luv.

-- A.M.D.A.D.

Dear A.M.D.A.D.

Wow, you really made me think. I gotta list of must-haves for the next man who wants some of my time: kind; generous; ambitious, having good credit (in no particular order); a relationship with or desire to know God; never been married … It’s really quite a long and drawn out qualifying process here lately. I’ll blog about it. But I never thought about whether or not that package, with all the boxes checked, would still be acceptable to me if it were wrapped up in a man with bum legs. Damn. I gotta say, I don’t know. Is that shallow? Damn.

You seem to not be the type to wallow in self pitty and to have your priorities in order. I do hope I don’t miss out on a good one because of the order of mine.

How about it ladies? Anybody more open minded than I? Fellas? Check the poll to the right.

Thought provoking, AMDAD. Thx for asking.

-- Mel

Got a sit? Wanna second opinion? Hit me up.


Friday, April 25, 2008

Blinded by Love: How much would you take?

The basis of any relationship is trust, right? Whether it’s a friendship, a business partnership a love affair … There are rules and there are boundaries and you trust the other person to govern themselves accordingly.

Of the list of a lover’s expectations, the biggest has gotta be fidelity. Aside from a few of you freakier ones, (shouts), most of us want the man we’re with to only want to be with us. Moreover, regardless as to what he might fantasize about, we fully expect for him to only actually manifest that imagination in our bed. That’s the agreed upon standard.

But what about all the gray between what might be considered harmless flirtation and actual cheating? Where do you draw the line? How much would you take?

An actual recounted experience brought this question to mind. A while back a gal acquaintance was goin thru it with her man at the time. He had this friend at work who seemed to be a little more than a friend. She’d caught him taking long lunches with this chick and lying about it, having flowers sent to her department for her birthday and shyt. He explained all that away with the “Oh we’re just friends. I love her like a sister.” Fine. Then, my girl came across a few out of the way text messages on her man’s phone from this chick.

“Have time for breakfast in the morning? Call me.” “Gnite, sleep tite. XOXOXO,” “Sweet dreams. C U Tmrw!”

WTF? I mean, nothing blatantly, blatantly sexual, but absolutely and undeniably incriminating, none the less. How many friends of the opposite sex do you have that you text good night? C’mon. I was really disturbed by the whole ordeal, but it wasn’t enough for her to be convinced that he was shady. Quite frankly, nothin short of actually catchin her man with his dick in this chick’s mouth was gonna be enough for her.

And true story, that’s exactly what happened. Well she didn’t exactly catch him, but it got back to her that something had gone down in the company parking lot between her man and ole girl.

She confronted him about it and he was like, “I ain’t have sex with that girl, she just sucked my d*ck. I wasn’t gonna f*ck her.” Wow, for real? True story.

And amazingly, that relationship didn’t time out for another several months. Crazy.

But I’ve kinda been there myself. I can recall relationships where I let a whole lotta shyt go with a boyfriend’s blasé excuse. Extra late nights, unaccounted for nights, phone vibratin all at 2 and 3 in the morning, even missing condoms. (Am I the only one who’s counted?)

“Didn’t we have 7 left?”

“Nah, I dropped one. It’s probably under the bed somewhere.”

That’s the kinda shyt I was OK with. The operative word being was. It’s a new day, ladies.

Which brings me to the question, how much would you take? Are late night text messages okay? What about hugs hello, is that cool? Birthday flowers? Kisses on the cheek? Standing lunch dates? Where do you draw the line in your romantic relationship and how much of your trust is actual faith in fidelity and how much is blind love? How dyou know if (and/or when) your man is pulling the wool over your eyes? Just askin.

-- Mel


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Cafe au lait, or straight up?

was in mixed company the other night when the topic of the swirl came up. The drinks were flowing and I was a little more loose with my opinions than I shoulda been. Sorry guys. They’re my opinions, none the less though, and as awkward as it was trying to defend them among a something-like-liberal crowd, of sober mind a day later, I’d like to share.

I have no problem with interracial dating on its face and in general. You meet somebody and fall in love, fantastic. If they happen to be of a different race than you, God bless ya. No problem there. White men and Asian women, Asian men and Latinas, Latinos and Black women … go crazy.

I have to admit though, when I see a black man with a white girl on his arm it kinda makes me feel some kinda way. There. Is that bad? It’s really not so much a racial thing for me, though. I’ve dated a couple of white guys in my hey day. Good times. : )

But there are thousands of others like me. Young, pretty smart, educated, single (yes, all that : )) women, available to a deserving Black man, should he happen along. And I hate to bash my brothers. I looove my brothers. But when there are more of them, in prison – and there are -- than in college, we are in a state of emergency. We can’t afford for y’all to be all hugged up with everybody else.

If a Black woman crosses to light side, it’s very plausible that she’s juts at her wits end in dealing with a shallow and widely dispersed pool of Black men of her caliber. It is what it is. Black men though, you have no excuse. Hard working, beautiful, smart and yes, even childless Black women -- I do realize I am no longer the most marketable -- are out there everywhere. You don’t have to look nearly as hard.

I think Black families are beautiful and I’d just like to see more of them. That’s all. And that’s all I was trying to say last night, Mark. Shouts.

-- Mel

PS and not entirely off topic:

Alexyss K Tylor on how White guys are freaks and why some Black dudes date outside their race. Hilarious. I love this chick. (Bare with her for the first 50 seconds).


Monday, April 21, 2008

My girl's man wants it, should I tell her?

Dear Melyssa,

My best friend’s man has been trying to get at me for a while now since before they even got together. They’ve been together for about a year and lately he’s gotten real brazen with it. We’ll be all out together at a club and he’ll brush past me and say something out the way like, “you know I’ll tear that shyt up girl, just say the word,” walk right past me, into my girls arms and look at me over her shoulder with this sly smirk. He’ll even do little stuff in her face like walk past me and put his hands on my hips and say “excuse me,” to play it off like I was in his way, or compliment me on the way my jeans fit …

It’s really becoming too much. Just to keep it 100 though, the other night we were all drinking at my place after we came back from the club and my girl had gone to the bathroom. I was standing in the kitchen at the refrigerator when her man comes up to me and presses himself against me with his mouth on my neck. When he looked up to face me, I must admit I was a little gone off the Heny and we kissed. Just for a second!!! I was so stunned after that. I did not want it to happen, Mel and it cannot happen again! I don't wanna be that girl. Especially over a dude who isn't shyt because he's cheatin on his girl anyway.

But my girl is so in love with this dude. He makes good money and he takes care of her well financially. Always giving her money and taking her shopping and stuff like that. But I want her to know what kinda scum bag she’s really dealing with. I’m just scared it will change things between us or she’ll blame me for waiting so long to tell her. (We both met him at the same time at this club and he came at me first, but she was all into him on the dance floor so I backed off and he ended up getting her number and it went from there. But he’s never stopped making little comments and eye contact with me).

So should I tell her or keep my mouth shut?

-- Little Miss Secret

Dear Little Miss Secret,

This has been going on for a year? I’m gonna have to play devil’s advocate and ask why? I hate to blame the victim but I feel like in a year, you really should have shut this down. By kissing dude back, you've really perpetuated the situation. But okay, so you did it, it didn't go further than that and now you want it to stop.

At this point, you’re right, you do risk changing or ending your friendship forever. Even if you hadn't sucked face with her man, she's still gonna have a hard time believing that the guy she loves betrayed her. Couple that with your own admitted hand in his come-ons -- even if you did just recently encourage it, you still encouraged it -- and I can't see any good coming from sharing this with her.

I’ve seen friendships ruined over bullshyt like this firsthand. One of my very good friends got a little too close with the man of another of our girlfriends. She was just trying to be friendly with dude, but he took it way too far, to the point of borderline assault really. It’s quite a story. Anyway, long story short, she told our girl that her man had come onto her and our girl was furious. At both of them. She did not believe the friend’s rendition of the way things went down and ended up getting back with her man. Their friendship was over forever and I ended up unfortunately having to choose sides and losing a friend in the fallout. Terrible.

So should you tell her? Ehhh, I’m gonna say no. No woman wants to hear any shit like that and few of us are diplomatic enough to be level headed about such news. You’ve waited this long, keep it to yourself. What you do need to do tho is let dude know in no uncertain terns that it’s not goin down and that he needs to stop harassing you. Stop bein so nice smiling and shyt. (You must be smiling cause dude keeps comin back and it’s been 365 days, cmon.) Then, you need to stay away from him. Quit hangin out with your girl and her man and keep your tongue to yourself. It can only end in disaster.

That’s all. Good luck.

-- Mel


Friday, April 18, 2008

Good Question: Are there any faithful men left?

I am the only one of my girlfriends who is not presently either married, in a romantic relationship, or shamefully, both. LOL And yet they always want my opinion on matters of the heart, sex and the like. I have noooo idea why. I’m so not the expert. Now if you wanna have a bashing fest and talk about the shyt we’ve been thru, I can do that all day. LOL. Kidding.

So a girlfriend and I had a martinis and Blockbuster night the other weekend and got to complaining chatting. Her man of two years just got caught – again – pants around his ankles. Argh. I wish he would get it together. So anyway, she looks at me and, serious as a heart attack, poses the question:

“Are there any faithful men left? Damn!”

My response: “Were there ever?” We got a little chuckle, but really, have men ever been faithful?

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say. Um. No. Do I sound like a bitter, jilted bitch? I’m not a man hater, honest. Love the d*ck, actually. Lol. But let’s be real, they’re not like us.

As women, we’re the mothers of the earth. We birth babies, breast feed, nurture and rear the children. .. Men, historically have been the hunters and the gatherers. They go out, work, make the kill and drag it home for the little lady to fry up. Call me an old fashioned traditionalist, but it’s not my design.

I’m something of a Freudian thinker. Call me crazy, but I’m inclined to believe that one of our most innate drives is a sexual one, the force to continue the human race and to procreate.

In short, it’s unnatural for a man to only be with one woman forever. We are not naturally monogamous beings. Now with that being said, everything that comes naturally isn’t right. Jeaousy, greed, murderous thoughts, vengefulness, lust … all those things are natural, too, but can we agree that they’re not all good? Okay. And for you spirituals out there, Jesus said he came to help us defy our own nature. Hmmm.

So being faithful is not easy, but men are a different case. It is especially not easy for them. But that doesn’t mean that a man who commits himself to a woman shouldn’t strive for fidelity, he absolutely should. But we, ladies, should also try to recognize that the monogamy is something like a constant battle for them, not so much for us, and the conviction he’s made is an unnatural one that pits him against one of the strongest and most natural urges he has. And it’s that way for a reason. Gotta keep the universe turning.

But for real, my girl’s man? This dude has been caught like five times. Admittedly I was on his team the first time and I even understood when she went back the second time, but five times? C’mon man. Your gender only gets you so much of a pass. Time to let it go.

So what say y’all? Are sexual urges any more difficult for a man to supress than a woman? Weigh in on the sidebar survey ------->

-- Mel


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Till death? How about just 10 or 20 … ?

hat if marriages expired? How cool an idea is that, right? I was chatting with a gal pal who recently tied the knot with her BD and she’s fast becoming disenchanted with the whole set-up. (Really, I don’t know why. I mean it’s not like he changed or anything. More that she expected him to. That’s another blog).

Anyway, people fall in love and they get married because they want to plan a life together. But can you really plan a life? I mean, I got a 10 year plan, but that’s about it. So much can happen in the next decade to alter the decade after … the variables are endless. Couple that with another person and his life’s path … how are we supposed to walk together forever? (Foreva eva?) Long time.

So what if, instead of pledging your I dos for such an incomprehensible time as eternity (is it even fair to ask somebody to promise you something forever? Cmon) you chose one of a few available Non-traditional Marriage Tracks, a 10, 20 or 30-year plan. At the end of the allotted time, the contract would run out unless you both signed up for a renewal before a certain date.

How cool is that? Making the leap … a little bit. Genius, right!? Weigh in on the survey to the right ---------->


Really, I’m a traditionalist. Once I tie the knot I really want that to be it. But I gotta tell ya, if an option like the one my girl and I came up with were available, it might be tempting. Holla.


Monday, April 14, 2008

Ask Melyssa Update: First time, shame on you ...

Second time, shame on me. That would be you, Anonymous. Argh, I’m so mad at you.

Ya’ll remember the dude who wrote in a couple weeks back because he caught his live-in cheating on Myspace? The chick has five kids, three baby daddies and he’s supporting the whole lot. Meanwhile she’s getting it in, or at least trying to get it in, with some guys form her past, reconnecting on Myspace and shyt.

I didn’t necessarily tell him to leave, but I did advise him to take a break and give ole girl some space and time to appreciate him. Dude is footing the bill for a whole basketball team, faithfully. She has a lot to ponder. But I guarantee, he wouldn’t have had to be gone but a month, if that long before she got her shyt together. Well, he didn’t have the cajones to pack his shyt and leave. SMH. Here’s a little snippet of the update Anonymous sent me.

Dear Melyssa,

Like a sucker I went back home. lol. You was right I'm all bark and no bite . . . Well actually I'm no bark and no bite. lol

Deep down I love that girl and I really realized how much I loved her after she did what she did. I now that sounds kind of corny, but it is what it is. We talked about everything, but . . . . . ughhhhhhhhh - I still don't trust her. Now I don't know if my trust issues is going to take some time for me to get over, but right now I still don't trust her. First off she gave me some bullshit excuse that she wasn't going to fuck her ex, and that she was shit talking to him. She said talking dirty to others dudes is just like a man watching porn. GET THE F*CK OUTTA HERE!!!! So basically I feel like a nut because I went back to her without getting any answers. Plus she's acting all unusally nice and shit . . . and I don't like it. I know that sounds funny but I don't like it. It's like she's putting on a front by acting nice. I guess it's out of guilt.

I know I f*cked up by going back to her so soon, and the truth will probably never come out. I have accepted that because I've done my dirt in the past (but that was when we was going together for like 6 months - I basically played my part).

Tonight, I'm going to take your advice. Instead of asking her to delete her myspace page (she can always make a new one without me knowing) I'm going to ask her if I can have her new password so I can see her messages and what not. I know she probably stepped her game up and erased all her messages. I just want to see if she's going to get all defensive and shyt. What she doesn't know is that I installed one of them Nanny programs on here computer . . . So right now I'm playing my part, waiting for her to slip up. Your probably thinking I wish this nigga would stop bitching and just leave the girl alone - the problem is I can't. I'm in love and as we all know, love will make you do some crazy shit. Besides, I have been putting up with her jealous ass for 4 long years, now it's my turn to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Dear Anonymous,

Noooo, nooo noooo, nooooo! This is all wrong. You’r letting this woman turn you into a bitch. Cmon, who does that? Checking Myspace pages? Emails, voicemails? Rummaging through top drawers and car consoles? ( I know you didn’t say all that, but it’s coming). A bitch. (Excuse me ladies, I just really need to speak to this dude right now. And yall know what I’m talking about anyway, we’ve all done it). But when a man runs up behind a chick like that, going through her shyt, looking for answers that she herself refuses to give … She will not respect you. Trust. I don’t even know how else to say it. And when the respect is gone, the relationship is a rap.

Why do you even need to read her Myspace messages anymore anyway? You already know what it was and that wasn’t enough to put a fire under your ass, give you a revelation of your own worth and make you leave. So what magical message would you have to see in her inbox to make it click for you? That’s not a rhetorical question. You should really ask yourself that. How much am I willing to put up with? It’s a process, I know. I had to go through it myself. But chances are, what you thought was your ceiling for the shyt you’d be willing to take, you surpassed months ago.

So what’s the hold? And don’t say love. If you were to say the kids, I’d have a little bit more difficulty in rebutting you, but you didn’t mention the kids. You said, “I can’t leave her because I love her.” Come on Anonymous. There’s no love without loyalty and if she’s telling dudes what nasty things she’s gonna do to them and what equally depraved things she wants them to do to her … there’s no loyalty there. You should require more than that.

And I don’t even know why I’m mentioning this, but the talking dirty to guys being like porn? Well that’s just bullshyt, but you know that. And you must also know that she’s being uncharacteristically nice because she’s trying to make good real quick. I say real quick, because it will not last. She will be back to her old antics in a hurry, just give her a minute to get comfortable. You’re playing a losing game waiting on her to slip up again. Because the next time you catch her in some shyt, if you don’t leave then, well then you’ve just completely changed the dynamics of the entire relationship. You have effectually handed her your pants and slipped on a skirt. LOL. No, really. You’re telling her you’re willing to take whatever she’ll put out and you may be mad for a minute but it’ll be all good.

My two year old tries me like that. Screaming when I make him go to bed, flip the light and say gnight. If I let him holler for five minutes before I break down and come in there to console him, he’ll yell at the top of his lungs for 10 the next time. And if I come in 10, well I might as well be prepared to stay up all night because he knows mama’s comin if he can just hold out long enough. (Sorry for the might-be-poor analogy. I relate everything to motherhood. :) ) But I think this one fits.

You’re a good dude, Anonymous. You can do better. Do better.

-- Mel

PS I’m not advocating it, but as long as you’re checking the computer, I’d love to hear more about what you find. Good luck!


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

WTF!? He's having a baby

I know you all have heard about this madness, but I really needed to vent. So this married man, who was born a woman but kept his female genitalia (incidental details) is pregnant. He's having a baby. Full facial hair and all. I am so dismayed. This is the world I've brought my child into. SMH.

How difficult is the birds and bees talk gonna be with this poor kid? Showing the child pics of his pregnant daddy and shyt? Gross.

Read the story after the break.

A pregnant man who used to be a woman has shown Oprah Winfrey the images from his ultrasound scan, proving that his pregnancy is not a hoax.

Thomas Beatie, 34, of Oregon, claimed he was pregnant in an article in a gay magazine last month, but had, until his meeting with the chat show host, remained silent about his extraordinary tale.

Many observers, including Mr Beatie's neighbours, thought the story was a hoax after he said he would not give any interviews until April Fools Day.

There was also speculation that the story could be connected to a new television series which plays pranks on the media.

But in his interview for The Oprah Winfrey Show, to be broadcast in the US tonight, Mr Beatie reveals that, as a female called Tracy Lagondino, he used to date men in his teens.

Before having gender reassignment surgery, Miss Lagondino was encouraged to model by her dad and even became a Miss Hawaii Teen USA finalist.

She had always felt male however and was apparently shocked by her physical changes during puberty.

In her 20s she became more masculine, had a lesbian relationship and researched what it meant to be a transgender male.

She began taking testosterone with the help of a physician, and met the woman who was later to become Mr Beatie's wife, Nancy.

He is now legally male after having his breasts surgically removed but making the decision to keep his female reproductive organs.

"I wanted to have a child one day," he told Oprah. "I didn't know how. It was just a dream."

He conceived through donor sperm as Mrs Beatie was unable to, having suffered severe endometriosis and undergone a hysterectomy.

"I have a very stable male gender identity," he said. "I see pregnancy as a process, and it doesn't define who I am. It's not a male or female desire to want to have a child…it's a human desire.

"I'm a person, and I have the right to have my own biological child."

An article written by Mr Beatie last month, in which he was pictured topless with a swollen belly, made headlines around the world.

The news triggered heated discussion among ethicists and family groups.

Armen Hareyan, publisher and CEO of eMaxHealth, an independent health news website, said: "As a Christian I believe this is morally wrong. I feel that this is just too far and that they are trying to do an experiment with the child.

"If they wanted to have a child, they could take an infant from an orphanage. They should not be doing this."


Tuesday, April 8, 2008

My guy wants a Threesome w/a dude. Homo?

Dear Melyssa,

My boyfriend of a year wants to have a threesome with me for his birthday. I know the threesome is supposed to be every man’s ultimate fantasy, but get this, he wants it with another dude! I was like, WHAT!? I don’t know what to do. I mean, I love him to death and I don’t want to give him reason to get bored with our sex life. And honestly, if he wanted to invite another chick into our bedroom, tho I’m not bi, I might think about it just once. But another dude?

I can’t get past feeling like that’s kinda gay. He assured me he doesn’t want nothing to do with the dude as far as the actual activity, all the attention will be on me. But still . Is this a red flag? Is my man gay?

-- Sandwiched

Dear Sandwiched, (Love that) : )

Wow. Im gonna read thru your letter one more gain –

And wow.

Okay, there’s so much. First off, no a threesome with two guys, in my opinion isn’t necessarily gay. But unless somebody’s getting paid for it, there’s a camera man with a boom and a director that just hollered roll tape before the action began, that’s some bitch ass shyt. Personal opinion. I don’t even understand how the guy drilling the front stays hard, all face to face with dude bangin the back. I don’t get it. But then, I don’t have a penis, so perhaps I wouldn’t.

What may be just as big a question as your man’s sexuality tho, I think are his intentions with you. You said it’s been a year. Really, the sex should still be poppin. If he feels the need to bring a whole lotta extra people in the bed, especially at this early stage in the game, perhaps it’s not so much that he’s bored with regular sex with you as it is he sees you as a why-not type of chick.

Want her to do this? Why not? Do that? Why not? F*ck that dude? Why not? Suck this dude … and so on and so forth. A fun freak, if you will. LOL. Maybe not, I’m just sayin. But I guarantee you there are some women that he would never in a million years make the request that he’s made with you. Furthermore, he’s been in relationships before where the very thought of his chick up under another hard-chested, sweaty man, pounding away would give him knots in his stomach and cause his fists to involuntarily tighten at his sides. It seems like you’re not that girl.

And that’s okay, if that’s okay with you. When you describe your relationship by saying you’ve been together a year tho, and make no mention of an open clause, I get the feeling that that kind of regard for said relationship isn’t okay with you.

Lemme tell you what a dear guy friend a mine told me: If they share, they don’t care. Pretty much sums it up, huh?

So, gay? Ehh. Maybe. But definitely disrespectful as f*ck.

-- Mel

PS If you do do it tho, Holla. I wann hear alllll the details. : )


Thursday, April 3, 2008

Now that we're tied down, can I still be tied up?

es, more on this whole Madonna/whore complex. (It’s kind of a big deal for me as I suffer from a form of it, myself).

Here’s my question, and I ask it at the risk of seemingly belittling the greatest job in the world which is motherhood. So now that I’m a mom, is that the only thing I will ever be able to be? I don’t mean crushing dreams of becoming a doctor or a lawyer, I mean socially, and more specifically, romantically? Are mothers forever relegated to being just moms?

So I was chatting with one of my very good girlfriends, Brandy the other day. Our kids are about the same age, only she did it the right way and got married first. Great. Lol

Anyway, she was giving me the latest installment in this love triangle she’s found herself in. She’s been embroiled in a passionate love affair with this other married guy who lives out of state. They get it in every couple of weeks on the regular and nobody suspects a thing.

Sidebar: I know it’s a mess, and I love her to death so I have told her she can’t keep up with this shyt cause she’s gonna get caught. Same time, her life is so much more exciting than mine right now, so I have no problem listening to the dirty details. I’m a drama whore, what can I say.

Anyway, she’s trying to back out of the elicit affair and get things back on track in the bedroom with the hubby, but he’s not cooperating. Sex with the lover is hot, sweaty and exciting. The husband, she says, is a bore. But it hasn’t always been like that, just the last couple of years since their child was born. The husband apparently can’t see her as the “hot little slut” (LOL love that) that he used to before they became a family.

She’s trying. She said she even bought a hot little nurse outfit and surprised him, but the two of them ended up having an eruption of laughter rather than a sexual one.

“He won’t do anything,” she said. “He doesn’t even wanna pull my hair any more. He was like, ‘I can’t pull the hair of my child’s mother.’”

Wow. And he meant that. It’s not a rarely shared sentiment either. A guy friend of mine told me he could never do all the freaky shyt he did with a certain unnamed someone -- points to self. (They weren’t together at the time. Back off) -- with his baby’s mom. “She’s my baby’s mom,” he explained. As if that explained anything.

Anyway, back to Brandy. Nevermind the sex used to be off the chain, all over the house, whenever, wherever, however and definitely on the daily. Nothin's poppin anymore. Damn. Is this what I have to look forward to?

What is it with men and their difficulty in seeing the multifaceted being that is woman: mother, wife, friend, HBIC … all that. Why I gotta be pegged?

Brandy said she was like, “In the bed, I’m not the mother of your child.” Nothin doin for hubby, tho. Bummer. He better step his game up tho, because my girl already has one foot out the door and he is oblivious.

The flipside tho, and I haven’t brought this to my girl yet, is that he can’t be the only one missing the sexy bedroom antics. And if she’s already exploring her options for alternate satisfaction, how long before he does the same thing? Just a thought. Shouts to Brandy.

-- Mel

Get at me


Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Catching up after getting caught

I love Myspace. I can’t tell you how many people this piece of social networking heaven has allowed me to reconnect with. And it’s addictive right? I must have sat on that site for hours when I first got my page, looking up people from years ago who’s names I couldn’t even remember completely.

A few have ended up hours-long telephone trips down memory lane … a couple others hours-long reenactments of memories … LOL. No victims, right? :)

Ever had someone you had a not-so-good relationship with that ended equally horribly hit you on myspace like it’s all love? What’s the rule of etiquette here, because a few days ago, I was at a loss.

My ex ex ex boyfriend from waaay back in the day, fresh/soph years at Hampton to be exact – the one who I caught red-handed and ass naked, knee deep in some white chick -- hit me up on my page the other day.

“Hey Mel! What’s up? Long time no see!”

Oh for real? Not cute. He’s married with a baby girl now and happens to live not so far from me.

He was like, “Oh, you stay near such-and-such? Yeah, I’m up that way all the time for business …”

Um, yeah. That’s when I ended the conversation. Not happenin.

The last time I saw this dude, he was running after me, pants around his ankles and I was ripping out of the driveway in my Dodge, mad as hell. Never really spoke since that day.

Honestly, I’m not mad. It’s been a long time (like near a decade). I’m just indifferent at this point, though a little peeved at his nerve, quite frankly. I mean, I’m the last one to throw stones, right? But damn that.

Christopher. Jackass.

-- Mel