Monday, April 28, 2008

Lookin 4 Super Love: That Christopher Reeve-type commitment

Dear Melyssa,

I was born with cerebral palsy. I know a lot of people are born disabled, but we want somebody to care for us, too. What I’m sayin is it seems like it’s hard to find people that will ride witcha. I’m a young mane in my 23third year of life. I guess da million dolla thought is, would you date a brotha with a handicap sticker? Same for men, would y’all date a female in the same boat?

I think I had to ask for not so much myself, but for anybody male or female born handicapped who might want to find somebody that’ll ride wit em. My heart don't get lonely cuz God built me to be strong, but when you’re born different, you look at life a certain way. Like, if I died, not neva havin any females or kids in my life. I'ma 100 with that cuz da main goal is heaven and to get up out da wheel chair and walkin someday and gettin out my mom’s house. She’s not gonna be here fa eva. But you might got people who want some love in life or somebody to kick it wit.

It took me a long time to write this cuz I wasn't sure about sendin it, but I could neva be a square. That’s not me. Just a question. No sad stories, just somethin new, like da movie. Much respect and luv.

-- A.M.D.A.D.

Dear A.M.D.A.D.

Wow, you really made me think. I gotta list of must-haves for the next man who wants some of my time: kind; generous; ambitious, having good credit (in no particular order); a relationship with or desire to know God; never been married … It’s really quite a long and drawn out qualifying process here lately. I’ll blog about it. But I never thought about whether or not that package, with all the boxes checked, would still be acceptable to me if it were wrapped up in a man with bum legs. Damn. I gotta say, I don’t know. Is that shallow? Damn.

You seem to not be the type to wallow in self pitty and to have your priorities in order. I do hope I don’t miss out on a good one because of the order of mine.

How about it ladies? Anybody more open minded than I? Fellas? Check the poll to the right.

Thought provoking, AMDAD. Thx for asking.

-- Mel

Got a sit? Wanna second opinion? Hit me up.


ThatNYCKhick said...

I don't know if I would, but I lean toward a strong maybe. I've dated guys in the past that when we're seen together people look like they want to ask me why. I don't think I'm perfection, but I have dated "below" myself in terms of physical looks, salary, even intelligence. It's like a loss of senses (if you're blind or deaf), when you lose one, you become hyper-developed in all the others. You may not be able to walk me across the street, but you understand me like no one else...
A lot of times, and I think this goes for a lot of us girls, if enough is there in another area, we can make ourselves blind to a lot of ish, including those things seen as a flaw, physical or otherwise.

JazzNicole said...

People always say what they wouldn't do but no one really knows until they are in the situation. I had a conversation with a friend about raising a child with a disablility and I said I wouldnt be able to do it. Then I got pregnant with my son Jeremiah and found out he had severe medical problems. He had trisomy 13. Doctors wanted me to abort but I told them I would take him anyway he came. With or without the disabilities. I went full term but he was stillborn Oct 2, 2006.

That situation opened my eyes to alot of things. The major thing being that you can love someone unconditionally regardless of their physical differences. I am not saying that I would go out and search for a diabled partner but I wouldnt turn a person away because they are wheel chair bound.

Melyssa Ganache said...

That NY Chick -- True. true. A disabled man may very well be super in other areas. Lemme find out. And yes, we will put up with a lot of other shyt, so why not a physical disabilty? It's better than Cantkeepmydickinmypants Itis.

THx for reading!

JazzNicole -- You got me rethinking my position now. Kudos to you for taking the high road. I know it can't be easy. Our opinions do change when it happens to us, don't they? God bless!