Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Cafe au lait, or straight up?

was in mixed company the other night when the topic of the swirl came up. The drinks were flowing and I was a little more loose with my opinions than I shoulda been. Sorry guys. They’re my opinions, none the less though, and as awkward as it was trying to defend them among a something-like-liberal crowd, of sober mind a day later, I’d like to share.

I have no problem with interracial dating on its face and in general. You meet somebody and fall in love, fantastic. If they happen to be of a different race than you, God bless ya. No problem there. White men and Asian women, Asian men and Latinas, Latinos and Black women … go crazy.

I have to admit though, when I see a black man with a white girl on his arm it kinda makes me feel some kinda way. There. Is that bad? It’s really not so much a racial thing for me, though. I’ve dated a couple of white guys in my hey day. Good times. : )

But there are thousands of others like me. Young, pretty smart, educated, single (yes, all that : )) women, available to a deserving Black man, should he happen along. And I hate to bash my brothers. I looove my brothers. But when there are more of them, in prison – and there are -- than in college, we are in a state of emergency. We can’t afford for y’all to be all hugged up with everybody else.

If a Black woman crosses to light side, it’s very plausible that she’s juts at her wits end in dealing with a shallow and widely dispersed pool of Black men of her caliber. It is what it is. Black men though, you have no excuse. Hard working, beautiful, smart and yes, even childless Black women -- I do realize I am no longer the most marketable -- are out there everywhere. You don’t have to look nearly as hard.

I think Black families are beautiful and I’d just like to see more of them. That’s all. And that’s all I was trying to say last night, Mark. Shouts.

-- Mel

PS and not entirely off topic:

Alexyss K Tylor on how White guys are freaks and why some Black dudes date outside their race. Hilarious. I love this chick. (Bare with her for the first 50 seconds).


Anonymiss said...

Alexis is a HAM, LOL!

This is gonna be a long post, so bear with me.

I'm indifferent to the swirl. I've engaged in it and I'm actually in a mixed relationship (my sweetie's Latino). I'm of the variety of Black women that have always been open to any man of quality.

Now, I can kinda see why some Black women would feel a certain way about BM/WW couples cuz the numbers game is hurting us. But there are stats out there that suggest that Black women have a greater chance at getting married when they're older.

I know of those dreadful stats saying that 70% of us are single and 40+% of us have never been married. But what wasn't included in those stats is that the older you get, the more likely you are to be married. Those dreadful numbers that are always in the media would have a sista thinking that she's doomed and/or that she's doing something wrong. The truth is sistas are getting their shit together (education, careers, sprituality, entrepeneurships, etc.) and men can't fit into their busy equation. And as we get older, we have a better sense of who we are and that's when marriage is more attainable. And 51% of women (when the stat is "general population", it usually deals with mostly White ppl) are single and have never been married. They won't tell you that though since their agenda is to make sistas out to be losers and/or promote the swirl idea.

And there are stats that suggest that there are more college-aged Black men in college than there are in prison. The biased media ain't about to inform us of that stat though.

Melyssa Ganache said...

Thx for the enlightening stats, Anonymiss. Had no idea our chances were better as we get older. Whoda thunk?