Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Get yo hand outta my pocket

I don’t know if it’s this impending recession, skyrocketing oil prices or what, but Open-palm Itis is becoming an epidemic, specifically with the male population. (In fairness tho, perhaps it’s just the men I’ve recently come across. Maybe I need to branch out, frequent some different places … Let me get on that).

But it’s not just me. I’ve heard horror stories form girlfriends, too and my sister just had to let one go for the same monetary violations.

She was just talking to me about it the other day. She was seein this dude – I met him recently and he’s fine as hell – ambitious, smart, seems to have a good head on his shoulder, charismatic, all that … So why is he askin my fam for gas money?

When she told me dude had hit her up for $20, and $30 I was like, “aw hell naw, please cancel his line of credit and delete his contact in your phone.”

It’s not easy for any of us to get around at $4 a gallon, but this nigga shoulda been tryin to walk somewhere before he hits my sister up for a tank of gas. That’s some ole bullshyt. And then got the nerve to try to holla? Fuck outta here. If he's askin you for gas money he can't do shyt for you. Not only that, but if he’s askin you, who should be a last resort for cash, apparently nobody else can do shyt for him, either. Ie, his mama, his cousin, his brother, his boy … Just not a good situation, all the way around.

I understand everybody needs help sometimes, but you cannot ask me for money and woo me at the same time. Just doesn’t work. You don’t have to be bleeding money, but you do need to be self sufficient, and not only that, but able and willing to do a little something for me in addition.

I don’t care if you’re not doin shyt but ringin up my groceries at the Wally World, don't holla unless you tryin to slide a couple a these food items straight into that bag over there. Lol. Really tho. Food is expensive as hell right about now.

When we go out to eat and I offer to pay, I don't expect to. At least the first few outtings, that is. I mean, dude's supposed to be trying to get in, right? Unless we are in an established relationship, that halfsies shyt is some bullshyt.

Needless to say, sis has since kicked that sorry dude to the curb. Nothin doin.

-- Mel