Friday, August 29, 2008

Why single men shouldn’t date women with kids

Bringing the seeming self-
to a feverish climax, I present: 13 Reasons Not to Mess with Women with Kids:

My guy Gyant grabbed this from I’ve quoted it here verbatim, thus the first person account. (Both a y'all motherfuckers are wrong for this shit, too).

1) Baby Damage - Birth has a traumatic effect on the female form. Pregnancy leaves stretch marks, saggy breasts, and c-section scars. I’ve also heard that the nookie is even stretched out and it isn’t the same anymore. Then there’s the weight gain. Most women NEVER LOSE IT or they never get their former hot shape back.

2) “I Can’t Find A Baby-Sitter” - Women will use this as an excuse to get out of a date with you or they legitimately can’t find a baby-sitter. Either case it isn’t your problem and you shouldn’t have to deal with it.

3) Babies Interrupt Sex - I’ve had this happen to me. I was banging a woman and her kid interrupted my sex. Needless to say I was pissed. If some kid is going to interrupt the meanest head you’ve ever gotten, that kid should have your last name.

4) Baby’s Daddy - When you’re dealing with a woman and your getting to know her, you shouldn’t have to deal with the kid’s father. Some guys can’t get over the fact that their ex has moved on. Before he was an un-attentive jerk and didn’t give a jolly goddamn about her. Now that you’ve entered into the picture, the dude wants to be the ideal boyfriend and a “father of the year,” nominee. The guy stars stalking her and wants to fight you. Even if the woman and guy are on good terms, the guy feels as if he can always smash. He knows her. He knows what she wants to hear and what makes her happy. The next you know your having this conversation- “I’ve decided to try and make it work with Jimmy’s dad”. Best way to avoid the situation is to avoid single moms.

5)Rent-A-Daddy - Realizing her mistake, realizing that kids (especially boys need fathers), the woman gets desperate. Any and every guy has the potential to be a daddy. You’re out trying to get some, not inherit a family.

6)The Kids Are Still Up - This is only a problem if you're trying to pursue something other than a booty call. Wanting to spend time with you, but not wanting to bring strange men around her kids, you find yourself only seeing this female after 10 or 11PM. You want to move forward, but she has to make sure you're the “one". This could take months. I suggest dealing with women that are readily available to hang out.

7) Double Heart Break - You are with the woman, then everything falls apart. Not only do you have to deal with losing the woman, but you’ve formed a bond with lil’ Jimmy. You and Jimmy play HALO together, watch the Wizards’ hoop it up, go to the zoo, and things dads do with sons or daughters. On top of maybe missing the woman, you miss the kid.

8) You're Not My Dad. - You hook up with the woman, eventually the issue of discipline is going to come up. Some kid being resentful or just a being bratty prick is going to eventuallly pull the “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!!!” card. Personally if I did date single mothers and some dumba$$ kid pulled that stunt on me, I would say, “You're right. I’m not your father. Since I have no authority over you and you refuse to listen to me, you need to pack your sh*t and go live with your dad.” This would be a deal breaker for me. In addition some mothers or the dad would have problem with you disciplining their kid. I’m sorry, if some kid broke my laptop, I’m whooping his a$$.

9)You Know What She's Going To Do - She already has one kid, if you knock her up, it’s safe to assume she’s going to have another one.

10) Bad Judge of Character - This female got knocked up by somebody that she was “supposedly in love with.” Not only is she a bad judge of character, she’s GROSSLY irresponsible. The same guy that’s an a$$hole now, is the same guy she thought the world of and had unprotected sex with.

11) Unnecessary Expenditures - Eventually you’ll get to meet the kid(s.) Soon those dates turn into family outings. Instead of paying for two people, your paying for three or more. The same goes if you move in with her.

12) You’ll Never Be 1 - When you're trying to build a relationship with somebody, you should be the focus of the woman’s life. It should be about you and her. If she has a kid, you’ll NEVER BE 1!!! That’s not a bad thing either, but it’s something I don’t want to deal with. Neither should you.

13)Tag, You're It! - This should be the BIGGEST deterrent to EVER dealing with a single mother. In some jurisdictions, I think California is one of them, if you start dealing with a female with kids, move in with her and things go south. THE FEMALE CAN SUE YOU FOR CHILD SUPPORT!!!! She can claim that she and the child have “become accustomed to you supporting the child.” YOU COULD END UP POSSIBLY PAYING CHILD SUPPORT FOR A KID THAT ISN’T EVEN YOURS! Imagine being extorted money because you were doing what you thought was the “right thing.” The state doesn’t give a rat’s a$$ about the relationship being over or you being a “good guy.” They just don’t want the chick on welfare. So as far as your concerned, it’s “TAG, YOUR IT!”



PS Ladies, it doesn’t have to be like the hopefully horribly exaggerated pic I posted. LOL. Really, I found this something-like-a-miracle product this summer, Nivea Goodbye Cellulite Gel. Heaven! It’s marketed to smooth cellulite which it absolutely does, but it also drastically minimizes the appearance of stretch marks on the tummy and blemishes on the face, (in like days, I swear! I was in a bikini this summer. Not a tankini, a bikinin. Goes for about 10 bucks at Walmart. Throwin it out there.

(This shit right here, nigga? This shit right here?)

-- Mel


NonShalant said...

I'm a man so I'll comment on this... First the original writer of this post is an immature lil boy who dont know shit and possible dosent get much play anyways. first off there are plenty wemon who've had babies that still look amazing. Second if u really want more that a booty call then u shouldnt really care bout spendin a couple extra dollars 2 take her and her kids out. I currently talk 2 a woman with a son and she means so much 2 me i'll put up wit wateva 4 her. be a man and step up 4 more than just a peice of ass

Melyssa Ganache said...

Good for you, Nonshalant. It's definitely easier to date a woman without children, no attachments, no extra financial responisbilities and the like ... but if she's worth it, then so are her kids. Way to step up!

raquel said...

I am a single mother and one thing i tell you, i still have men after me(not tryna sound like a stuck-up biatch)but as for the writer you dont know nuttin pa' cuz if da mom is a good mom she wouldnt want to b smashin someone like you i tell you dat. my son means the world to me and for someone like you to come aint worth it. I'm not tryna find a daddy for my son cuz im both mommy and daddy at the moment so don't get it twisted--not all females are the same