Settling Down with a Skripper: Could you do it?

She spends her early evening grinding her scantily clad ass over the erect-beneath-sweat-pants wearing happy hour crowd. She whispers in the ears of the lonely, lovelorn and cash-carrying about all the nasty things she’d like to do to whatever gentlemen she’s escorted to the back room. She sexily contorts her body in stilettos for a living and brings her paychecks home in ones and fives. Yet, at night, she climbs in your bed and spoons with you.

He’s oiled up, muscles bulging, leaping off the stage into a crowd of horny, screaming middle aged women. Sock-laden penis swinging as the baby boomers wave dollars in the air and raise their phones to snap cell flicks of your man simulating oral sex on someone’s mother, sprawled out, legs spread on the floor. He flips her over, to an uproarious reaction from the sex-starved crowd, slams his sock against her ass a few times, licking his lips before his set is over. Then, he wipes down, gets dressed, and lets himself into your apartment with a key.

How the fuck does that work?

I mean, I’m a pretty open minded person, but I don’t understand how simulated sex to music, outside an otherwise monogamous relationship is ok. I don't care if you are gettin paid and bringin home the cash. Maybe I’m just being judgmental.

I recently met a man who pays his mortgage pretending to fulfill the fantasies of women. He’s an exotic dancer named Chocolate. (aren't they all). But this dude is every bit as delectable as his name sounds. I imagine, I mean. Haven’t been there yet, but we’ll see.

I’m a little put off by his work, quite frankly. Though everything else about him is starkly domesticated. He cooks, does laundry and even has full custody of his 12-year-old son. I know, right! He’s grounded, well read and professes to be monogamous-minded. I spent some time with him and must admit, I went home impressed.

But I cannot reconcile the reality he’s shown me, with my own wild imagination. In my mind I see him constantly being approached by horny college co-eds, out for a drunken night of debauchery; propositioned by old sugar mamas looking to put some cash in his pocket after hours … I see him actually becoming aroused by his own titillating performance and being tempted to head out to the parking lot and make it real. I've definitely been to a few of these lil hedonistic shindigs and definitely tried to entice one of the professionals into following me home and he was definitely wit it. I know how this goes down. :)

I dunno, I’d like to give dude a chance, but I don’t think I can even go. Maybe he’s not real relationship material, but perhaps I can keep him around anyway. If that nigga can move like that on the stage …. Lawd. : )

What do you guys think? Could you wife up or settle down with an exotic dancer?

Hit up the survey to the right please and thank ya.

-- Mel